Chick Chat: Learning to Love

Think about all the things we’ve learned throughout life up to now.  We’ve learned to crawl, walk, run, talk, cry, laugh, smile, hide, find, dance, put on make-up, dress ourselves, ask for help, sing at the top of our lungs, balance our check book, cook, clean, read, write and so forth.  We’ve also learned how to comfort those who are sad, listen to a friend, make friends, overcome unfortunate situations, feel disappointment, rejection and sadness. 

At every season of life, we are learning new things.  Whatever we are learning in that season is helpful for that season we find ourselves in but is also for the seasons to come.  What would it look like if we never learned a new thing?  What would it look like if we refused to grow and adapt to the seasons of life and our surroundings?

I absolutely adore newborn babies. The first couple of years are the most precious.  Everything is new: their first steps, words, smiles, coos and not to mention all the outfits, toys, blankets and bottles.  How a child communicates with us during this stage—diaper changed, hungry or sleepy—is different than the years to follow. 

Once a child learns to communicate his/her need, a new process begins.  It seems there are various stages throughout a child’s life where one process ends and a new process begins.  It’s the process of retraining a child.  Makes sense right?  Of course! Imagine with me if you will that a baby cries to communicate what he/she needs. 

Fast forward five years later and the same child uses the same skills to communicate his/her need.  Most likely not the best way to communicate with parents, family and new play dates.  Let’s fast forward five years later, the child is now ten years old, and the same child continues to communicate with cries that have escalated to tantrums and loud screams. 

And we wonder, “Is this really happening?” Oh, but of course because this child is now an adult and a glimpse into his/her life shows that he/she still cries, throws tantrums and gets into fits of anger in response to not getting his/her needs met.  I’m sure you’ve seen it a time or two and said to yourself, “seriously!”  Ever wonder how it happened?

At every new stage in a child’s life, it’s an important opportunity to retrain.  Taking the time to retrain a child in communication as well as teach new skills helps the child to evolve.  It allows the child to face varying situations with knowledge and skill to walk through them equipped.   With each new season, it’s an opportunity to recalibrate.

As an adult, I’m learning that recalibrating is a necessity.  In every season of life, recalibrating helps to adapt, stay flexible and grow in maturity.  Acquiring new skills are important to staying mentally sharp.  Last but not least, as the seasons present themselves, learning to love is an asset.

Being purposeful to grow in love, to learn how to love better and gain deeper insights in love does wonders.  How we learned to love others and ourselves when we first got started in life will be different as an adult. The love chapter in the Bible is the hallmark of how to love as well as what love is. 

Love is patient, kind, always trusts, hopes, protects and perseveres; love never fails.  Starring at those words, “love never fails”, leaves me speechless.  “Really!  You’re telling me that love never fails?  It doesn’t give up on me when I don’t get it right?  It doesn’t point fingers at all my shortcomings, failures or mistakes?  It doesn’t wait for me to become the person I should be?”

Love never fails because this love we speak of is unconditional love. This love is a love of choice and not that of a feeling.  The love we speak of is a love that is deeper than deep, wider than wide and higher than high; we could not weigh or measure this love no more than we can determine its circumference.  This love is ours if we choose to receive it.

Just as we choose to learn and grow to adapt with the seasons of life, so it is with love. We choose to receive love. We choose to learn new facets of love.  We choose to put on love like we choose to put on an outfit; an absolute must, a necessity not an accessory.  We choose to give love away and give it in spades.

This love originates with God, manifested in the form of Jesus to demonstrate to the world what love looks like, how love receives and responds and who love is available to.  Love covers over a multitude of debts, transgressions.  Love does not keep record of wrongs, is not easily angered and banishes fear.  Just as darkness cannot hide light so fear cannot abide in love.

In every season, love is always a foundational fixture.  Learning to love in every season is a precious commodity; it’s rare and priceless.  It’s free to all, but chosen by few. It always starts out with many admirers and advocates, but quickly narrows with age, understanding and in action.